samedi 29 août 2015

What Codependent Love Addicts Have To Cope With

By Shawn Hunter

It is not easy living as a codependent if you don't realize there is a problem. Some folk with these issues are codependent love addicts which makes it even more difficult. Once someone does realize that there is a problem, they will be able to find a psychologist who can help them with their disorder. However, one does need to be patient because it does take time.

Someone who has this disorder will be obsessed about relationships and is continuously thinking and fantasizing about a partner or something related. It is almost an obsessive compulsive way of thinking, which one has a lot of trouble with. This affects your personal and professional life.

With basic codependency, one has problem with self esteem. It is difficult to love oneself. Boundaries are always a problems. One may find it difficult to protect against this. People who are diagnose with this have issues with self-care. They won't express themselves very well in terms of what is real.

It is common to see someone who wants to control another person. Of course, it could work the other way around where someone could have control over them. This would make them comfortable with a sense of responsibility. Although, resentment will always come into the picture. A lot of the time, they will blame others because of the fact that there were no boundaries in the first place.

A lot of time is spent on these relationships, thinking obsessively about the partner or about future relationships. One will often do everything for the partner and it is never an equal based relationship which is not healthy. This kind of person needs to be taken care of, but it is very often unrealistic. Of course, this goes back to the childhood when parents or caregivers were not interested in the children and this made them feel unloved. This is the price theat they have to pay.

When they are neglected and find that their partner is leaving them, they go into withdrawal mode. A lot of the time they become abusive. This will depend on how badly they are affected. Their behavior can be out of the ordinary, which becomes beyond obsessive. They are not able to leave their partner alone, and this becomes a problem. This is the sort of loss they are not able to handle.

They may say that they are doing fine, but deep down inside this would be painful for them. They could be jealous when seeing a partner with others in their life. They would also experience a great deal of shame and pain. They would be feeling trapped at this stage in their life and it would be difficult to know where to turn.

A love addict does not see their immature behavior and how offensive it can be to others. It is only when someone points this out and becomes supportive that one may start to see the light. Therapy can change how one sees relationships and this can change your whole life around.

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